I’ve been doing a Ph. D. in particle physics for the last four years or so, having about two crisis a year in which I was considering, to various degrees of seriousness, whether to find a real job in the IT business (sometimes including relocating to Berlin). About a year ago I decided that the most reasonable option was to postpone the decision a bit and focus on finishing my thesis, but the question remained: would I be more satisfied in general doing computer oriented stuff or in the academia? After all, the part of my research that I usually enjoy the most is coding, but again, the prospect of a rigid schedule and a bureocratic environment scares me to death.
So a few months ago I set up a plan that would allow me to pursue my Ph. D. to end while at the same time exploring the computer side (hopefully) enough to make a decision by the time it should be taken: I would apply for admission to the Master’s Degree program in Computer Science at the UCM, and take a few courses at the same time that I write my thesis. By the end of my contract (April 2009) I would be able to decide whether to jump to a post-doc in physics or to finish studying CS. The financial side of the second option would be taken care of by the interest-free loans the Spanish Government offers for these MD studies.
And then two weeks ago I found out about the (remote) posibility of a one year position available in Paris, which would probably begin right after my contract ends and would allow me to defend my thesis a bit later. Now, if I, as planned, begin the CS studies this year, I might have some trouble even finishing properly the very few courses I would enroll in this year. On the other hand, it would mean another year of guaranteed income. But it would also mean having to put off the “Computer Question” for another year.
Now, stepping out of the academia sounds like a quite permanent step, but lately I’ve been wondering whether to take a deep breath and jump into the void, or whether to stick to more solid–but maybe not so exciting–ground. There are many things I’d enjoy doing for a science career, but right now I’d be stuck to pretty much what I’m doing right now for a while, which doesn’t thrill me that much anymore. But again, there are no guarantees that it will be better on the other side.
There will be answers, eventually…
I just realized that my boss is right: I write too long sentences.
Hi,
We all fret about what we should do or not, what the outcome is going to be… Try not to worry to much, but do give it a thought. Things usually come when a) you’re relaxed enough to listen to your feelings b) you are concentrated enough to be able to consider all possibilities rationaly. And then you have to look at both and weigh them agains each other. At least, that’s how it works for me!
Good luck!
Thanks for your comment! :-)
I’m not worrying too much about it right now, as nothing is on sure ground yet. I’ll have to start worrying a bit more when I enroll in September, then in Oct./Nov., when I’ll have to decide whether to apply for funding…
These people in Paris seem interested in me, they’ve invited me to give a talk at their institution in the fall, I’m scared!
Anyhow, I’m trying to keep all posibilities open. I usually try to consider every option rationally, develop possible plans, browse the “space of possibilities”, then wait for one or two of the options to click by themselves without conscious intervention. It tends to work for me :-)
The down side is the feeling of uncertainty… but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.